something that i miss

this one is easy. i miss being a kid. carefree...no responsibilities...no worries about money or my future. just being able to live life to its fullest. when i look back at my childhood i always tease my mom that my other sister right above me, mahea, and i were the only latchkey kids in our family. the madre was home for the rest of our siblings throughout their elementary years. dropping them off and picking them up from school. i can imagine the occasional afternoon snack would be waiting for them after school. but not for us. we would get dropped off...but had to walk home afterwards. if the key was not in its designated spot there would be times when we had to break in.

which by the way...surprises me how our house NEVER got broken into! i mean...if an 8 year old could do it...what's stopping a grown adult. thank goodness for tight knit communities.

but don't get me wrong....my mom did the best she could to support our growing family. and in a way it definitely made me mature a lot quicker. i learned to cook, clean and do laundry all at the ripe age of about 9. then you can throw in taking care of ANOTHER little person, my nephew...at the age of 10. i had to grow up fast. i guess in a way that's part of the reason why i miss that stage in my life so much. when i look at my nieces and nephews now...and see how carefree they are...it makes me wann climb in a time machine.

i want to be able to play in the rain without worrying about getting sick. i want to be able to ride a bike down a hill without worrying about falling off (trust me when i say it can happen to grown az adults too!) i wanna be able to climb a tree without worrying about it breaking....hahahaha. most of all...i just wanna have one day without having to worry. PERIOD.

my favorite place

sunday breaks after church
easy walks to think about the day
swimming
digging holes in the sand
sand castles
playing in the rain
playing in the mud
mudfights
walking the dogs
sunbathing
late night jam sessions
catch phrase after being kicked out of the house for making too much noise
(ie pono jumping up and down waking everybody up)
getting stuck in the sand
meditation moments

these are just a few of the things that make this my favorite place....

my fears

as far as i can remember...i've always been afraid of heights. i don't know why, but every time i found myself higher than 6 ft, the worse possible scenarios seem to flood my mind. if we're on the 15th floor of a hotel, i would imagine the guard rail on the balcony becoming loose, and me falling to my tragic death. gruesome...i know...but for some odd reason, stuff like this always freaked me out. but i always faced it head on. whether it be trusting myself to take that extra step towards the edge, or going on that amusement park ride that pushes the limit. but....i wouldn't describe this as being my biggest fear. my biggest fear can be summed up in one word....loneliness.

having been brought up in the lds church, i have always been taught the principle of eternal families. and i've never fully understood that concept until a member of my eternal family left our earthly home. when it happened...people would tell me..."don't worry...you'll see him again," or "thank goodness for eternal families and Heavenly Father's plan." so of course i was comforted then knowing that i would see him again. however...eternal families are dependent on living a worthy life here on earth. so the thoughts begin to race in my mind again....what if i don't live up to my part? what if he didn't live up to his? what if i screw up and never see him again? what if i never see my family again? because to me...losing my family and being all alone is my biggest fear.

but...just like i face my fear of heights...i have to face this head on by working towards living a worthy life. unfortunately, i'm currently not on the path i should be on...mostly because i miss out on church and various church activities. but i've come to accept that i'm simply a work in progress.

a first

so i figure i'd knock down two birds with one...BLOG...lol. as i was approaching this topic, i couldn't decide what "first" i would discuss. my first time getting lost at the swap meet? my first time falling off a bike? or maybe even my first time getting into a car crash? but alas...all these firsts seemed miniscule when compared to one of my greatest firsts...my FIRST trip to south korea!!!! hahahaha. ok...i'm fully cheating because i'm using this as an excuse to talk about my adventures in the land of kim chee.

for those of you who have been following along...i have been planning my australia trip for weeks now. the flights were looking great up until about three days before i was scheduled to leave. all of a sudden the business cabin started to fill up, and it was a lost cause. so i had to devise a new plan. i was not about to let my whole week off pass me by without crossing over international waters. so i facebooked a few friends, and hoila...within a few hours before the flight was scheduled to depart, i found myself preparing to go to south korea!!!!

two of the most amazing people i know have been living out there teaching english. i have been meaning to go and visit them for some time now, but the opportunity had never presented itself...that is up until now. as i hopped on the next flight to lax...i couldn't contain myself. i was actually going to korea....BY MYSELF!!!! hey....another first.

i had to make two stops before reaching my final destination...lax and narita, japan. i would have loved to cruise around japan for a quick minute...but i was by myself, and it has been a while since i've spoken a lick of japanese. so i figure i just stay in an area where english was a kind of guarantee. lol. my flight to japan was ridiculously empty. i had a whole row to myself...in BUSINESS CLASS!!! which was perfect for that 10-hr flt.

i finally arrived in seoul tuesday nite. it was too late to really do anything, so tee and idz met me at the airport and we took the hour-long trip to downtown seoul where our hotel was. and the rest was all a blur pretty much. here's the simple PBP (play-by-play) of what we did.

flight arrived. triple threat reunited. train ride to seoul. check in to hotel sunshine. heated toilets. catching up. laughing. talking. sleeping. s l o w l y waking up. pack up room. trek to subway. bags in locker. subway to market. naemdamu market. zip up hoodies. korean drums. fur. fur. MORE FUR!!! street performers. honey demo. suckered. bought honey. peanut butter pancake thingy. crazy taxi drivers. getting lost. alleyways. lunch. tight spots. chopsticks. spoons. hot food bowls. awesome food. palace. painted koreans. mochi demo. spinning tops. picture time. taxi ride. subway to train. 3 hr train ride. freezing jencheon. korean bbq. BEST EVER!!! korean karaoke. tamborines. new friends. NEW YEAR!!! 12 hour nap. cruise all day. sick tee :( movie marathon. rummikub. chinese jax. more. talking. laughing. singing. puking (poor tee) lol. packing up. bus station. goodbyes. headed home.

i wish i could explain everything that we did, but it would be a really long blog. all you need to know is that it was an amazing experience. especially since it was quality time with two very dear friends. it definitely made me nostalgic of our days at the musicbox. since their contract is up in may...they'll be moving to australia to try the workforce out there. now i definitely have to make it back to australia when they get there.

something that makes me cry

these are a few of the things that make me cry...

NEW LIFE...death

UNIONS....separations

LAUGHTER....anger

interesting how two contradictions can evoke the same reaction???

something that makes me feel better

what else is there right???

i {heart} my family

aussie aussie oi oi!!!!

yup....just HAD to share that in approximately 30 days i will be on a plane to see this guy....


and i am sooo flippin' excited!!!!!!!!! just need to get two more days covered at work, then get my visitor's visa...and i'm headed to the land down under!!!!!! thank goodness for friends and international weddings.

ps...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

something that upsets me

i like to consider myself a happy-go-lucky person. i don't really let all that much get to me. but if i were to choose ONE thing that upsets me...it would have to be...

stupidity

hahaha. seriously! i can't stand it. pure dumminess irritates the heck out of me. and i'm not talking lack of education stupid...i'm talking the "ignorant-i-can't-be-bothered" idiocracy. ESPECIALLY when it comes to my cultural background. this irritation has obviously become more apparent with the move to the mainland. i mean...i understand some people really don't know...so i don't hold it against them. they're not the ones i have problems with. its the ones that THINK they know, and try to correct me. seriously?! annoying. here's an example:

dummy (directed to a friend of mine): your daughter's gonna have to get a t.b. test for school.

friend: yeah...she did that already.

dummy: no...she's gonna have to get another one since she moved from another country.

friend: what do you mean...we just moved from hawai'i...

dummy: yeah...that's what i mean

friend: ummm...hawai'i IS part of this country. it's the 50th state.

dummy: no...it's not part of the REAL u.s. its a little island out there.

friend: no...hawai'i IS part of u.s.

dummy: no...you know the REAL u.s. hawai'i doesn't count.

IRRAZ!!!

dummy#2: do i need a passport to go to hawaii?

me: no.

dummy #2: are u sure?

me: positive.

dummy #2: sure? i just want to make sure i have the proper documents when i travel out there. don't i have to go through customs when i get there.

me: i'm 100% positive you don't need your passport. hawai'i is a part of the united states.

dummy #2: it is? are you sure?

me: yes ma'am. i'm sure. i'm from hawai'i. born and raised.

dummy #2: wow...you speak really well for someone from hawaii.

IRRAZ!!!

another moment

how about a lost moment. like the time i got knocked out today and lost a few teeth!! lol. yup...today was the glorious day the nagging pain that kept waking me up for the past week or so came to an end. all in all the procedure was quick and painless. went in. got some laughing gas. got poked like 5 times with needles because the nurses were unable to find a vein. (curse u shallow veins-happens every time i go to give blood). and then it was a little awkward when the last thing i remember was the oral surgeon reminiscing about how he was the lead in his high school play "guys and dolls" (?) and then something about P-90X. and then i was knocked out.

***sorry...no brittney spears hallucinations here*** all u gleeks know what i'm talking bout right?! lol***

next thing you know i'm being woken up by the nurses and they were done! then they hand me my purse to call my ride. i'm so out of it when i'm calling the BIL to pick me up. luckily he's just pulling in. next thing i know they start wrapping some kind of contraption around my head, but it gets caught in my hair. so i take my hair down and the nurses start going on and on about my hair. and for some reason i start asking them if they've seen the movie/documentary good hair with chris rock! buahahahahaha!!! omg. the BIL finally walks in the office and helps me out...still buzzing from the anaesthesia.

long story short i am sooooooooooo relieved its over. besides the bleeding and the vacant spot in the back right of my mouth...i'm good. i'm just keeping my fingers crossed the antibiotics fight off any potential infections...and hopefully i won't have to take any more painkillers. bye bye pain. hello sleep!

the challenge is coming to an end...

ok....to all you loyal followers...(yes all 5..lol), i just thought i'd update you on my status with the challenge.

i only have 10 more topics left!!!!

yup...and then i won't have anything else to write about. lol. for those new to the challenge..here's a little background. feel free to take the challenge yourself. would LOVE to hear what you have to share.

the challenge

this month....

it's that happy-go-lucky time of the year again!!!!! i love the holidays...but my waistline surely dreads it. oka...those damn grocery stores set you up by putting ALLLLLLLL the baking stuff in little stations...throughout the store. eeeeh!!!! i've already made butter rolls, banana cream pie, my version of haole brownies, regular brownies, and yellow cake with chocolate frosting. sadly...there was no special occasion. it was all just cause the stuff was staring me in the face at the store...so i bought it, brought it home, and MADE IT!!! all i know...it's back to insanity come january! ugh!

anyhoo...enough of the weight-whining. so it seems like its gonna be a pretty mellow holidays. especially since i have to work the evening of christmas day. that really isn't a problem since our family always does our big dinner on christmas eve. so with that...the SIL started decorating around the house. so far we just go the staples...

the tree

the garland for the banister

and the stockings (check out the itty-bitty ones i got for the twins...lol)

man...when the SIL brought the tree home i thought it was huge!!! but i was quickly informed that it was nothing compared to our sisters tree. so i drove down the road to check out her tree...and i was greeted by this MONSTROSITY!!!!

one and her 12 ft tree put our little 9 footer to shame. hahahahaha!!!!

last week, at work (the hawaiian cultural center) we had a fun little activity for all the little chillrenz. so SIL and i went and took no'a, since it was mostly for kids his age. i called a couple frenz and invited them to bring their kids as well. it was so cute. we had different activity stations set up including:

cookie decorating

making crafts (reindeer windsocks???)

coloring

and story time

it was the perfect activity to jump start the holiday season. i was planning on going home...but i'll be spending my week off getting oral surgery!!! fun right?! WRONG!!!!

after weeks of avoiding the dentist, i couldn't take the nagging pain in the bottom right corner of my mouth. come to find out my wisdom teeth have been growing the wrong way and i need to have them removed. IRRITZ! so i go in next wednesday...and hopefully it'll be a quick recovery. i'm kinda nervous, but at the same time relieved, because its time off from BOTH jobs!

then it's christmas!!! don't really know too much about our plans...only that its dinner at sisters for christmas eve, and then tubing the next day before work. it should be a lot of fun. only thing missing is the parentals and the two sibz back home and their chillrenz.

BIG SAD FACE :(

something i regret

omg...so many skeletons in my closet. from failed relationships to really stupid decisions. i definitely regretted making those decisions back then. but now that i look back at it...not to sound too cliche, but the ultimate life lessons were learned from those experiences. but i think this quote sums it all up for me:

"regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

shoulda coulda woulda. especially with opportunities past...that i'll never get back.

my favorite birthday...

birthdays birthdays birthdays...who DOESN'T love birthdays?! i know i do!!!! lol. i have to admit...i usually don't make all that big of a deal when it comes to my own. i usually like doing stuff for OTHER people. weird..i know...but there's nothing like seeing the expression of someone's face when you surprise them with a party...or just randomly stopping by the office with a dream cake from ted's. its all worth it. so when friends try to return the favor...i don't really know how to act.

like when they try to throw you a surprise party, but you think you're waiting for them to get ready to go to the movies. so you get all irritated when you have to go IN the house to get them to hurry up cuz you're going to miss the movie...and when you open the door and everyone yells "SURPRISE" you blurt out some "special" words, shut the door and try to run away. hahahaha!!!

OR like when they attempt to break into your house to decorate your room while leaving their brother outside as the "lookout"and all he does is look at YOU while you pull up in the driveway staring at him wondering "why is 'iasi outside my house???" hahahaha...thanks line ;)

OR like when they throw you a surprise bonfire (one of my fav past times with good '01 frenz) but i fully knock out after having dinner with frenz...one of whom decides to invite a RANDOM chick who does nothing but drain me of my "birthday-glory-ness" by complaining alllllll night about her ex who also happens to be my cousin. hmmmm...the food was good though. lol

but don't get me wrong...i'm soooooo not complaining. i have the BEST friends and FAMILY anyone could ever ask for. these are just some of the few memories i have of my special annual celebrations. if i had to pick just ONE...it would have to be my 24th. i only pick this one because i think it lasted the looooooooongest. it wasn't just a birthday..but a birthWEEK!

friends flew in from texas to celebrate. totally unexpected. the brother-in-law rented a car for me and my friends to cruise all weekend long. from ice blocking in the middle of the night...to taking the visitor friends clubbing for the very first time...to witnessing a friend freak out when he realized his pina colada had a little extra kick (innocent mistake)...it was a whirlwind of events. ironically...this also happened to be the year of the ruined bonfire surprise. but my brother totally made up for that by taking me on a surprise retreat to the hilton waikaloa...one of the premier hotels on hawai'i island. i was spoiled rotten. now that i think of it...i don't even know how i was able to get that much time off work.

but whether it be my 24th or my 42nd...i am grateful for each new year of life. which just may be the greatest gift in itself. so here's to another year!

my favorite memory

"memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose" --some old t.v. show...can't remember the title

how appropriate for today's entry. obviously i can't think of just ONE favorite memory. so i thought i would share a few that, although random, are unforgettable:

- playing pictionary by candlelight with the WHOLE family after hurricane 'iniki turned into a tropical storm...and getting surprised by the neighbor who invited himself over and randomly jumped on our kitchen table.

- playing in the pouring rain outside the house, and slowly making our way to the bridge on homestead and not EEEEVEEEN caring about getting kaki'o's from the dirty water..hahaha

- driving around all of hauula/laie/kahuku with sister and looking for byuh students we could bark at. but then feeling bad after making said student fall off her bike. sbi

- playing secret santa for random people in the ward and delivering baked goods to their homes anonymously.

- late night drives to walmart cuz there was nothing else to do.

- late night drives to zippy's....for the same reason as the aforementioned memory. heffer status. lol

- seeing imaginary cats crossing the road while driving home after aforementioned late night trips.

- ward.camp.

- laughing sooooo hard i literally couldn't breathe.

- beach days

these are just the tip of the iceberg. if i mentioned every single memory i think i would lose readers. lol. but i look forward to making many...many more.

my first kiss

first word that comes to mind when i think of my first kiss: awkward

hahaha. yes. very true. it was in a movie theater. as we were walking out after the movie ended. and as i turned around to say something to him, he kissed me. weird. what made it worse, there were people behind us trying to leave too. it was another couple...who gave us dirty looks as they walked by. i remember THAT. nailz. i also remember thinking..."this fool couldn't wait til these people left." but rest assured...that was my ONLY instance of PDA....even if the public population consisted of 2. lol. so there you have it...my first awkward kiss...lol.

my dreams

if someone were to approach me and ask me, what are your dreams??? my answer would be...

i.have.no.clue.

i have been in a total slump lately. not even kidding. just going through the motions, trying my best to survive in this "doggy-dog" (thank you gloria from modern family for that one...lol) world. i have been hesitant to write about this topic for this reason. seems a bit loser-ish of me to not have any dreams. but then i came across the following quote

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” - Greek Philosopher

total justification. lol. but on the real...it's sooooooo true. when i look back at my life a few years ago...there are so many things that i have accomplished up to this point that were all just a dream back then. both big and small. here's a few examples:

- i own my very own car. yup....kept talking about it in the past...just couldn't afford it. now, it's a dream come true

- backpacking through europe. NEVER thought i'd ever get to do that. but i totally did and it was totally awesome. dream come true

- graduating from college. in political science of all majors. it was a long time coming. but i did it. another dream come true.

- the freedom to travel. been bit by the travel bug a few years back, and scrimped and saved for every trip. now i have my own personal fleet of "private" jets. thank you delta. dream come true.

these are just a few examples, of the MANY "dreams" that have manifested themselves in the past few years. actually...this all happened in the past year. huh...go figure. so thank you mr. greek philosopher for helping me realize although i may not have a clue as to what my dreams for the future are yet, its comforting to know that i have already made some older dreams come true.

what i wore today...pt. 2

nothing special about what i'm wearing today. just that it's a more comfortable alternative to wearing jeans during this chilly-er fall season in utah. so i'm sporting my bright floral print baby doll dress with leggings and a cardigan.

and of course the boots to keep the dogs nice and toasty.

not too sure how i feel about the upcoming winter season. don't get me wrong...i don't mind the cold, and i love when it snows. one thing i DON'T like is driving in the snow. especially since approximately 2-3 hours of my day are spent on the road. just the thought of playing "slip and slide" with other cars on the road is soooo not the business. but i have to keep reminding myself that these are the small sacrifices i would have to make in order to maintain my flight benefits. so bring it on frosty...just please be gentle...lol.

this week...

what a coincidence...i get to talk about my week right when i'm smack dab in the middle of it. so in honor of this week's hump day...allow me to share what i did, am currently doing, and what i plan to do. haha.

sunday:

tsk tsk. missed another day of church. and this time i was actually in town for it...but got swept away in never never land. you know its bad when people think you're new every sunday you DO go. and you know its worse when the person asking you is NEW themselves!!! eeeeh! i think i should just switch to the ward down the street instead of driving 20 minutes to go to the singles ward. is it really worth it? *sigh* ok...ending confession now. lol. cruised with the madre til it was time for work. worked the night away.

monday:

got home from work around 5am. stayed up til about 6. slept til 12. woke up in a frantic hurry to get ready for work, only to find out it was my day off. from one job at least. drove to sissy's house to hang out with the chilrenz...and ended up cleaning their house and buying lunch for everyone. (am i the only one who sees something wrong with THAT scenario...damn kidz! lol). went home to get ready for the second job. worked the night away.

tuesday:

pretty much the same schedule as monday except this time i worked BOTH jobs. went in to the center by 2pm and caught up on some blogging. lol. but don't worry...i blog for the center as well, so technically its "work". edited some videos, downloaded some pix, and made a couple dvd's. i love my job there. was done there by 6 and headed another half hour north to the lovely reservations center. and yup...you guessed it....worked the night away.

wednesday (TODAY!!!!):

got home from work and was greeted by an insomniac...mi madre. found her resting in her beauty while the tv watched HER. woke her up and advised her to either get some rest or start packing for her flight which left in about 6 hours. she hesitatingly got up off the couch, walked past the stack of clothes piled ON her suitcase (and this is where i get my procrastination from), and went to sleep. hahahaha. don't ever. worried she wouldn't be able to get up in time to go to the airport, i decided to stay up and catch up on some atlanta housewives. is it just me or does this season seem lame??? if i hear kim sing "don't be tardy for the party" one more time, i'm gonna fly to atlanta and slap her myself!

two hours later...woke up the parental and helped her get ready. sissy came to pick her up so i could get my slumber on. or attempt to. did some laundry and finished just in time to go back to work. so that brings me here to the center. and i'm dying right about now. plans for later this evening??? work my night away.

thursday:

lucky for me, i only have to work ONE job tomorrow, and its only for four hours!!! so i plan to sleep for as long as i can...roll out of bed, somehow manage to get ready..and drive a half hour to work. i think we have a meeting tomorrow...so really its just me and my coworkers talking story about how nails our board is. hahaha. that'll have to be another post. after that i can GO HOME!!! not sure what to do then. maybe have movie night with the SIL, since the rest of the family ditched us to go to hawaii. boo to them! but luckily, i won't be working the night away.

friday:

back to two jobs again. ugh. i offered to work for a coworker at delta. how nice of me right? lol. this time i'll get off early, and just work til 1am instead of 4am. trust...3 hours makes a HUUUUUGE difference. but other than that...nothing all too exciting.

saturday:

*sigh* if alllll goes as planned, and i get someone to cover my shift at delta...i'll be on a plane heading up to boise to watch the uh v. boise state game. is it bad that i'll be sporting boise gear, but cheering for uh??? lol. well...that's the plan at least. if things don't pan out...and my shift doesn't get covered, i'll probably be changing the oil on my car, and quite possibly get the alignment fixed. or maybe i'll just bypass all of that to go shopping. the latter sounds better. and then...yup...you guessed it, i'll have to work the night away.

and that's my week. so exciting right?! hope yours has been/is/will be better than mine. ;)

what's in your bag?

there's no mistaking it that a woman's handbag is her life. how else would we carry our wallet, makeup, cell phone, pen, paper, phone charger, camera, snack, planner, laptop, laptop charger, *lady items*, power surge bar (lol), etc. see...ones whole life can fit in there. or maybe just mine.

lately this has been the bag of choice for yours truly.

i know what you're thinking..."that's not a purse!" but hey...it carries EVERYTHING i need and then some. these are some of the goodies in my bag today:

-laptop
-laptop charger
-wallet
-makeup bag
-surge power bar
-phone charger
-earphones
-gum
-chapstick
-lotion
-dental floss

random...i know. but i promise i use EVERYTHING in here almost everyday. i need my laptop when i go into work....both at the hawaiian cultural center AND delta. the surge power bar is to plug in my laptop while at delta. there aren't enough outlets for the work computer and my computer...so it comes in handy when its slow at work...and it allows me to do this...

hahahaha. yup...that would be me watching movies at work. the earphones are necessary for this to happen as well. lol. and as you can see in the picture above...you'll notice the phone charger plugged into the computer. can't be disconnected from the outside world while working right?
work at delta always seems to fly by with these little toys.

need i explain the rest of the items??? lol.

challenge continued....my siblings

ok...i got home from work an hour ago, and instead of doing the usual...(reuniting with la-la land), the wonderful world of blogging has prevented me from enjoying my slumber. so here i am...6:37 in the morning...determined to complete the challenge. so i'll start where i left off...my siblings

because there's so many of us, i figure i'd do my best to describe each one with a single word. so here it goes....in order from oldest to youngest. lol. hopefully they don't hurt me if they happen to come across this post.

leone.malia.saaga

the loud one

aaron.kawika.keo
the quiet one

jared.maluae.keo
the OCD one
(yes...i realize OCD is more than one word but the abbrev. can be one word right? lol)


jason.keaunui.keo
the kolohe one

mahealani.angeline.keo
the punchy one

me.
the favorite one
(lol)